Sometimes the last thing you want comes first,
Sometimes the first thing you want never comes.

"I'm afraid of emotions.
I don't like how they feel.
I've hurt others with them and I can't trust them at all."

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion
is infinite, undying--
Lady, make note of this:
One of you is lying.

-Dorothy Parker

You said you would never hurt me.
But it wasn't you I was worried about..

That's it.
I'm literally and officially obsessed with Hunger Games.
And it's probably not very good for my health seeing as I'm losing hours of sleep by staying up to read the books.
It is one of the hardest things to do lately-- to pry the book out of my own two hands.
Alas, I've gained back some self-discipline and have put it down for the night.
On the upside,
my cat hasn't failed to continue with his nightly ritual.
Comes into my room, stares at my bed hinting for me to pick him up onto it (since his jumping is limited because of Arthritis..and we all know THAT can be a bitc..). He makes his way towards my head, nudges it while he allows me to pet, praise, and cuddle him. Then he ventures off into the valleys of my bed to find his perfect spot for the night.
Tonight, it's right beside me. Thank goodness I have this bed big enough for two :)
With my mom in other room, brother downstairs, and the rest of my family safe and sound (Thank you, God), all is well with my world.
(Well....almost)
AND, it's the Sabbath--hallelujah!

Good night :)

What they don't know is that there is more to her.
There are feelings and opinions and emotions.
There are flaws.
But when someone places an already set list of expectations on you of you,
you feel like your only option is to be that.
Nothing else.
Opening up becomes hard because you fear they will see the flaws that they didn't expect you to have.
And you don't let them see your flaws for that very reason.
No openness.
No vulnerability.
It's a vicious cycle that needs to be broken.

Cat and I back in action. True happiness.