Alone.

I thought about this as I got up from my bed,
And said “Good morning” to emptiness.
I thought about this as I made my morning breakfast,
With no one else to share it with.
I thought about this as I ate at my kitchen table,
Across an empty chair.
I thought about this as I paced the halls,
and the echo of my own steps spoke back.
I thought about this as I walked outside,
and complained to the trees about the weather.
I thought about this as I went to sleep,
and said “Good night” to darkness.
I thought about this as I spent the day alone.
I don’t want to be alone.

Longing

I am drowning and choking and gasping for breath but it is not the water that I am drowning in. There are no swallowed fish in these lungs and I cannot taste the sea.
Drowning, not in water but in the sheer volume of tears that have gone unwiped by fingers taking leave of my hand they were holding.
Choking, not on a lack of air and not on the flavor of breath that I have forgotten
but on the lack of you and the number of moments left unshared between us.
On the life that flows beyond us endlessly while we sit on the shore and wait to be ready to dip our toes in, ready to jump with our clothes on.
I’m choking right along with the words in my throat.
I’m falling back in love with the letter you wrote and I think that I was wrong, but I guess I don’t know.
I figure that I’ll wait until you tell me so.

Powerful Love.

Please don't fight these hands that are holding you.
My hands are holding you.

Like everything I've ever known, you'll disappear one day.
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away.

Just Lean Cuisinin'

"Suddenly, all at once, she knows, knows that he doesn't understand her, that he never will, that he lacks the power to understand such perverseness. And that he can never move fast enough to catch her."

Hide my face, hide my face

Can't let them see me crying.

Her comfort.

There is something comforting about the Night Sky.

And the way she tolerates my laying down and staring up at her for hours.
The way she spellbinds me, entrancing me in her features,
Leaving me lost in all her beauty.
The way her lustrous beauty mark shines down on me,
lighting up the world’s blackness,
lighting up my darkness.

There is something in the way she comes out to meet me,
and willingly anticipates my arrival.
In the way she listens to my secrets,
and tucks them away under her blanket,
for eternity.

It is in the way she casts her light on all the lurking shadows,
so that I can fall asleep under her eyes only.
It is in the way her black arms wrap around me,
Her white freckles reflect upon me.

There is something comforting about the Night Sky.
It is in the way her tears shoot across her face,
and in the way she catches mine when they’re falling.

If you can't open up, despite your fears, then that is the biggest problem.

Learn to open up and accept that there are things you're scared of.

But you cannot live all privately and reserved and to yourself.

I am pro at living that way,

but it doesn't work eventually.